20 Apr Following the trail of my life.

I’ve just returned from running one of my favorite routes around the Chamonix valley trails.  It’s a bright sunny day with a slight chill in the air, giving a freshness and clarity that helps brings you fully alive.  My body felt engaged and strong and my legs had a resistance in them that I haven’t felt for months.  I had begun to get used to the feeling of being tired all the time; and a little lost… and very sad.

Earlier this morning I had sat alone on a half-filled plane and silently cried my heart out.  Like a child who suddenly finds that they don’t understand their world anymore.  I couldn’t believe how someone I trusted could be so lacking in compassion and egotistical.

The day before I had been encouraging my niece to be kind to people.  That whatever path she chose in life she should try to be kind.  She had asked me “what if they push me and call me names?” (She’s only three).  I suggested that she stand her ground, be firm, but be kind… that perhaps they had lost their way a little, and that she should not let them cause her to lose hers.

Sitting on that half empty plane, full of sadness, lost and alone, my mind returned to my beautiful and happy niece.  Slowly she led me back to the trail of my life.

The sunshine cast my shadow forward along the trail and I could feel my pigtail swinging rhythmically from side to side behind me.  The gently rustling leaves; the soft rebound of the pine needles underfoot and suddenly I am playing with the trail once again.  I breathe in nature’s energy… breathe out and release weeks; months of accrued sadness.  I let it go…  without regret or expectation, and in the space created something truly wonderful happens.  I feel the fresh green shoots of a smile… born of hope, and of the joy at being completely free and alive in the moment.  The brightest and most uplifting smile I’ve known in many months.